What Kind Of Car Are You?

I live in the land of flashy cars. In LA you are what youAlthough today's cars are available in colors running
drive - even if you're driving yourself into debt.the gamut from basic beige to outrageous orange,
If you buy a Bentley, a Ferrari, a Maserati or a Rollsthere's one rule of thumb. White reflects heat, black
Royce you're buying an attention-getting car. If you buyattracts heat and red attracts police.
a BMW, a Jaguar or a Mercedes, you're buying anHuey is green and he's thirty-eight years old. In people
economy car.years that's about one hundred ninety. He's so old
I've seen all kinds of cars. I've seen one that looks likeyou'd think he'd qualify for handicap parking.
a hot dog and one that looks like a shoe. I've also seenHe's so old you'd think he'd qualify for mandatory
a car that looks like a rooster - which proves not allsmog checks - but he doesn't. In California cars aren't
cars are female. If they were, where would the newsmog checked if they are over thirty years old. That's
models come from?like saying people shouldn't take driving tests if they
My car is male and his name is Huey. Yes, I named myare over eighty years old. That would be like driving in
car. There are times I spend more time with my carFlorida!
than with my husband and I didn't want to be telling myFrom Florida to California all new cars look alike to me
problems to a stranger.- no fins, no portholes, no personality. Today's cars are
In fact, in LA we spend so much time in our cars theymore plastic than metal. Because they're not built to
become our second homes. They have CD and DVDlast, there's no time to bond with them - just time to
players, as well as phones. They have spilled drinks,Bondo.
leftover food and stained carpets. They also haveNew or old, high maintenance or hybrid, there are more
monthly payments.cars in LA every day. More cars means more traffic
Cars have come a long way since the Model T, whichand more traffic means more accidents. However, if
had no optional extras, cost $825 and was availableyou live in LA there's something worse than that. Not
only in black.having a car in LA is a "cartastrophe"!