| I live in the land of flashy cars. In LA you | | | | |
| are what you drive - even if you're driving | | | | Although today's cars are available in colors |
| yourself into debt. | | | | running the gamut from basic beige to |
| | | | outrageous orange, there's one rule of thumb. |
| If you buy a Bentley, a Ferrari, a Maserati | | | | White reflects heat, black attracts heat and |
| or a Rolls Royce you're buying an | | | | red attracts police. |
| attention-getting car. If you buy a BMW, a | | | | |
| Jaguar or a Mercedes, you're buying an | | | | Huey is green and he's thirty-eight years |
| economy car. | | | | old. In people years that's about one hundred |
| | | | ninety. He's so old you'd think he'd qualify |
| I've seen all kinds of cars. I've seen one | | | | for handicap parking. |
| that looks like a hot dog and one that looks | | | | |
| like a shoe. I've also seen a car that looks | | | | He's so old you'd think he'd qualify for |
| like a rooster - which proves not all cars | | | | mandatory smog checks - but he doesn't. In |
| are female. If they were, where would the new | | | | California cars aren't smog checked if they |
| models come from? | | | | are over thirty years old. That's like saying |
| | | | people shouldn't take driving tests if they |
| My car is male and his name is Huey. Yes, I | | | | are over eighty years old. That would be like |
| named my car. There are times I spend more | | | | driving in Florida! |
| time with my car than with my husband and I | | | | |
| didn't want to be telling my problems to a | | | | From Florida to California all new cars look |
| stranger. | | | | alike to me - no fins, no portholes, no |
| | | | personality. Today's cars are more plastic |
| In fact, in LA we spend so much time in our | | | | than metal. Because they're not built to |
| cars they become our second homes. They have | | | | last, there's no time to bond with them - |
| CD and DVD players, as well as phones. They | | | | just time to Bondo. |
| have spilled drinks, leftover food and | | | | |
| stained carpets. They also have monthly | | | | New or old, high maintenance or hybrid, there |
| payments. | | | | are more cars in LA every day. More cars |
| | | | means more traffic and more traffic means |
| Cars have come a long way since the Model T, | | | | more accidents. However, if you live in LA |
| which had no optional extras, cost $825 and | | | | there's something worse than that. Not having |
| was available only in black. | | | | a car in LA is a "cartastrophe"! |