Family and Finances: How to Deal Effectively with Both - FamilyVision Column

The Smith family is your typical middle class family. Janquestion? I see too many people counting other
and Robert Smith have two kids, JoAnn and Ray. Janpeople's money into their budget. What am I saying?
loves her family dearly because she was raised in aHere is a common example. Your friend is married and
big family of 12. Jan is the oldest. Jan's siblings arehas children. She drives a nice car and lives in a
relatively close knit. Each visits each other. Jan'smansion. However, she is constantly borrowing money
extended family has a habit of borrowing money fromfrom you for groceries. She says she's short this
each other. Jan's parents have even foundweek. But, it's really the same story. If you don't get
themselves borrowing money to prevent one of theirher the money, she tries to make you feel guilty.
children from jail. Jan's parents are going to alwaysHow will her children eat? Actually, it's a case where
found going from store to store to pick up hot checkspeople don't want to be accountable for their financial
for their children. When Jan usually goes to her parentsdecisions and blame others. Sadly, this attitude is bad,
about this action, her mother only says, "Family helpsbut what is worse is the family and friends who justify
family." Jan doesn't lend her money to her siblingstheir behavior by lending them money. I hear it all the
unless it's an emergency. She doesn't participate in thetime--the many excuses. He's just down on his luck. No
borrowing among her siblings. The Smith Family has aone cares about him, but me. Family always helps
solid financial foundation while Jan's parents and herfamily. I've come to the conclusionthat money can't fix
siblings are in a financial nightmare. Jan wonders if hereverything.
brothers and sister will ever change?You can't continue to live with the guilty. Loaning your
The Panic Buttonmoney away makes the lender more dependent and
Why are we so unhappy with all of our materialincreases the chances that your finances will
wealth in America? We witness each day theeventually suffer. Here are some steps for resolution:
destruction of families and the demise of the individual.- Discuss your borrow/lend policy for your family.
My sadness is fact that some of these problems are- Never lend money and hide it from your mate. It's
self-inflicted. We found these interesting finance factsbound to stir up trouble.
about our national past time--financial debt. According- Decide if you are really making a loan or just giving it
to Bankrate.com, some 1.6 million American householdsaway. If you give it away,
filed for bankruptcy in 2003.Average per household- you won't need to worry about getting paid back.
debt, excluding mortgage debt, is more than $14,500.- Establish your rules upfront with compulsive
About 40 percent of households spend more thanborrowers so that they understand your position.
they make. How can this be? It would appear that- Give tough love to compulsive borrowers.
Americans are borrowing their way to happiness.- Don't let other people's crisis become your reality.
Society tells us. According to one financial study, theAsk for more time for a decision.
average credit card debt is approximately $8,400. YouFinancial Peace
explain, "We can have it all even when we do notFinally, keep it simple. Money and family don't mix;
have cash to pay for it; therefore, we charge andhowever, you can avoid the drama when it comes to
hope that it disappears."family and money. Establish your position upfront about
It doesn't! Individuals need to be educated on personallending money to family and friends. Keep to your
finances. I see people everyday doing crazy financialguns, even when Cousin Jim calls your mother
things such as (1) rental furniture, for an apartmentbecause you won't lend him a five bucks. Don't allow
instead of waiting, (2) getting money at a Checkindividuals to trivialize how you handle money. Most
Cashier place which charges high, interest rates, (3)family member are jealous of you anyway if you have
paying 24 percent interest on a credit card.your finances in order. Love your family. Improve your
The Reality of Liferelationship. Remember, however, that money and
Some people will never listen. Is change out of thefamily are a deadly combination. Start Today.