| I have always considered a conviction to be a firmly | | | | when we went to sign the papers to buy the house in |
| held belief. I consider belief to be something one thinks | | | | Hacienda Heights. I had never seen so much money in |
| is true in the absence of any corroborating fact. One | | | | one place before in my entire life (I was ten years old). |
| of my dictionaries defines belief as "full acceptance of | | | | When Dad laid out those ten $100.00 bills on the desk, I |
| a thing as true." | | | | couldn't take my eyes off of them. |
| Convictions have seemed to me to be a lot like | | | | As an adult, I can see where having a checking |
| expectations. If you have a conviction that a certain | | | | account would have been handy and really wouldn't |
| result will come to pass, then it is very much like an | | | | have done any harm and I came to believe that his |
| expectation. If it is your firmly held belief that murder | | | | conviction was not really justified. That is until, because |
| and thievery are wrong, then most people would | | | | my mother had opened a checking account, they |
| agree that is a good conviction. If you expect to be | | | | started sending her offers for credit cards. |
| punished for lying and cheating, then that is a good | | | | With my father's death, the mortgage to our house |
| expectation. | | | | was paid off. We had no bills for his illness because |
| Generally speaking, I find it counterproductive to have | | | | while the government didn't pay very well, it offered |
| too many expectations about the outcomes of things | | | | awesome health and mortgage insurance (yeah they |
| and I try not to hold too firmly to too many convictions, | | | | still did that then; my dad died in 1969). My mom got a |
| but there are some that are worthy of consideration. | | | | job at the bank where she had opened the checking |
| For the most part, only time will tell you if you have | | | | account and between her wage and the social |
| chosen wisely. | | | | security and veterans benefits checks that Deb and I |
| My father had a lot of convictions. Some, I am sure, | | | | got (but saw only long enough to endorse), we were |
| because he tried to always be a rational man, were | | | | not hurting for money. Still, for some reason, the credit |
| based in fact. Some appeared, to me, to not be. | | | | cards called to her. She applied for one and so began |
| However, I just accepted his convictions as "this is the | | | | her love affair with buying beyond her means to |
| way that it is." I think it is much easier for children to | | | | afford. |
| accept what is without qualification. As we get older | | | | Many years later, she had acquired so much debt, that |
| and develop our definitions of what is good and what | | | | she and her new husband, Lew, had to sell a house |
| is bad, it becomes more difficult. | | | | that was completely paid for to get out from under the |
| One of my dad's convictions was that you just did not | | | | credit card debt. Then, instead of buying something |
| need a checking account. Checking accounts were for | | | | small, they bought a triple wide mobile home set on |
| rich people who spent lots of money and didn't want | | | | land for which they had to pay rent. And they held a |
| to carry all that cash around with them on a regular | | | | mortgage on the mobile home. I was already married |
| basis. We weren't rich and we were very frugal. As a | | | | to Bernd, but my sister was still living at home. There |
| result of this, it led my dad to have to hold another | | | | was no place for her in the mobile home because you |
| conviction. That being, that all the family's working cash | | | | had to be 55 or older to live in that park. So she was |
| was safe in the freezer section of our refrigerator. | | | | forced out and into an apartment while she was still |
| How he managed to hold that conviction, in the face of | | | | going to school and working part time. And she had to |
| the knowledge that my sister and I knew full well it | | | | take and care for the family dog and cat. I was upset |
| was kept there, is a mystery to me. Guess he wasn't | | | | at my mom for a long time for having done that to |
| as rational as he liked to think he was. | | | | Deb. Later, they eventually had to sell the mobile home |
| There was a large envelop stuffed into the back of | | | | and rent one instead. The lesson really stuck with me. |
| the small freezer (our fridge was one of those with | | | | I still hold to the conviction that if you can't afford it |
| only one door; remember I was born in 1952). In it were | | | | outright (with the exception of a house and a car...times |
| smaller letter sized envelopes that were labeled things | | | | are tougher) then you can't afford it... period. For |
| like, GROCERIES, DRUGSTORE, GAS, NATURAL | | | | convenience, my husband and I have several credit |
| GAS, etc., all neatly printed by my dad. Dad was paid | | | | cards. We pay them all off at the end of every billing |
| once a month (he worked for the Government) and | | | | period...always have, always will. If something is so |
| on pay day, he would cash his check, bring home the | | | | much money that we couldn't pay them off, we don't |
| small wad (the Government didn't pay all that well at | | | | buy it. Time has shown me that this is a good |
| that time) and distribute it, according to his budget, into | | | | conviction. |
| the various envelopes. Anything that was still in the | | | | Some convictions will serve you well. Others will just |
| envelopes from the previous month's budget was | | | | get in the way of your enjoyment of life. (I'm not talking |
| removed and put into a savings account at a bank. He | | | | about the one that says that murder and thievery is |
| did believe in savings accounts. Possibly because he | | | | wrong.) Sadly, there are people that have the |
| could think of no better place to hide that money. | | | | conviction that if they do not flip the light switch, say, 16 |
| Until I was almost seventeen years old, he would pay | | | | times before leaving the house, that the house will burn |
| what bills he could at the courtesy desk of our local | | | | down while they are gone. Sometimes, that person, |
| grocery store. We would stand there with the alcoholic | | | | having always done it and it having become a habit, will |
| beverages and tobacco that could only be purchased | | | | not be able to remember if they actually remembered |
| with identification and never, ever just sat on a shelf in | | | | to do it. This can make for a great deal of stress. I |
| the store where anyone could pick them up. This was | | | | think that, as humans, we are all a little bit obsessive |
| also where you got the tubes for your television when | | | | compulsive. Thankfully, I have only a little bit of that. I |
| any of them burned out. You could pay your natural | | | | have a tendency to count anything that occurs |
| gas, water, telephone, and electricity bills right there. For | | | | repetitively. Ask me how many times the telephone |
| any others, you needed to buy money orders, which | | | | just rang or how many times someone honked a horn |
| you could also do right there. | | | | and I can probably tell you. I do it without even thinking |
| Now you might say, "Why, if he had to buy money | | | | about it. And that is the real problem. |
| orders, did he not have a checking account? After all, | | | | The above is a rather extreme example of a disabling |
| checking accounts are free." Well, they weren't at that | | | | conviction (sooner or later that person might find it |
| time. You had to pay first for the privilege of having | | | | impossible to even leave the house), but there are |
| one and then you had to pay a fee for each check | | | | others that are less obvious; believing that you are not |
| written. This was still true when my husband and I | | | | deserving of love, for example. Having grown up with |
| were first married. Today, banks use your money. | | | | a lot of shoulds (modeled by my parents) and a well |
| They guarantee that it will be there when you need it; | | | | defined list of what is good and what is bad has made |
| but in the meantime they invest it (make home loans, | | | | parts of my life quite frustrating, to say the least. |
| business loans and the like) and so they make money | | | | Understanding that my convictions are just beliefs that I |
| from your money. That is why they can offer free | | | | hold firmly has helped me to release some of my |
| checking accounts. | | | | shoulds. I don't have to believe something if it doesn't |
| Several days after my dad died, I turned seventeen. | | | | serve my best interest. Believing, for example, that |
| On that day, Mom went to the local bank and opened | | | | gravity will always hold me firmly to the earth's surface |
| a checking account. Apparently, the conviction that we | | | | is a good conviction. It may not be one hundred |
| did not need a checking account was not one of her | | | | percent certain (nothing is), but it brings peace to my |
| firmly held beliefs. This brings me to another one of my | | | | days. And for me, that is what it is all about. |
| dad's convictions...credit cards. He thought they were | | | | Convictions are fine as long as you understand what |
| just plain stupid. It was his belief that if you couldn't | | | | they are and what they mean. If it is something that is |
| afford to buy it outright, then you couldn't afford it... | | | | mindless, that controls you without you ever giving it |
| period. His exception to this rule was buying a house. A | | | | any thought, then that is not fine. Use your convictions; |
| car you could still buy outright. You just saved a very | | | | don't let them use you. |
| long time for it. I can still remember my astonishment | | | | |