| We've all gotten them. Thick envelopes that looks | | | | delivers. The rest we can ignore. In the new age of |
| really important. The serious nature of the envelope, | | | | credit card fraud and identity theft you are going to be |
| the unfamiliar return address, the somber way your | | | | forced to run it through the shredder and bury it in the |
| name glowers up at you from under the heavy duty | | | | nastiest batch of trash you can find, and that still might |
| shine of the clear plastic window, cause your heart to | | | | not be enough to discourage a really determined |
| hammer and sweat to pour down your back. You | | | | person from digging it out and painstakingly taping the |
| throw the envelope on the table and stare at it, half | | | | pieces of paper together. |
| expecting it to grow teeth. What is it you wonder as | | | | This particular credit card offer, with its ominous vibes |
| you tip toe away, a really big unpaid bill you somehow | | | | has cost you years of life. And look they included one |
| forgot to pay, bad news from the Internal Revenue | | | | of those handy pre-sorted envelopes. The urge to rip |
| Service, a notice warning about the inevitable | | | | the packet of papers into a thousand pieces of |
| destruction of the planet. You don't have the faintest | | | | confetti and shove it all into the complimentary |
| idea. You are pretty sure that you don't want to know. | | | | envelope is overwhelming. Maybe you'll even rip up |
| You spend the next few days slinking past the | | | | some pieces of notebook paper to add to it, that way |
| envelope you decide that whoever came up with | | | | when they open it back at the headquarters the |
| expression that ignorance was bliss must have been | | | | envelope will explode and the confetti will cover the |
| facing one of these envelopes. | | | | office. |
| Finally you can't take it anymore. You grab the | | | | While that option will make you feel better it won't stop |
| envelope and rip it open. Reaching in with shaky | | | | the offers from filling your mailbox. Plus is it really fair |
| fingers you pull out...pages and pages of brightly | | | | to take out your frustration on the data entry person |
| colored papers. | | | | and custodial staff? They're just doing their jobs. |
| Credit card offers! | | | | The best course of action is to run the entire contents |
| Everywhere we turn they are being shoved in our | | | | of the envelope through the shredder. Then call the |
| faces. Elaborately done commercials on television, | | | | credit card company and politely ask to be removed |
| brightly painted billboards along the highway, filling up | | | | from their mailing list. Be prepared, just because you |
| the pages of magazines, discreetly tucked in the bank | | | | have asked to be removed from he list does not |
| tellers cubicle, pop up's all over the internet, and | | | | mean the offers will automatically stop coming. |
| disguised as potential doom in the mailbox. Exactly | | | | Chances are that the company has an entire |
| how many credit cards do the companies think you | | | | warehouse full of offers with your name on them. It'll |
| need anyway? | | | | take awhile for all of them to be mailed. Give it six |
| The ones that are really disturbing are the ones that | | | | months, if after that point you are still receiving the |
| really irritate us are the ones that the Postal Service | | | | offers, try again. |